I've been thinking about conviction
Published October 26, 2024
I could clump my friends into four groups:
Stable, unsure: pleading
Nice jobs which let them stay home 3 days a week. Whenever we talk it’s their boss’s kid’s birthday. Free mangoes in the office. I watched Queen’s Gambit and started playing Lichess. I thought there would be more than this.
Unstable, unsure: worried
Making just enough to eke out a life’s work that’s fun to talk about at parties. Always at a sweet 6 month gig doing exactly what they want, wide open road afterwards. I should get a job. I was thinking of going back to school. What am I doing with my life?
Stable, sure: steady
Family people with a long lease. The days are the same, each one a joy. You catch up but nothing’s changed. Dog’s at the vet again for eating marbles. We’re rewatching House. We’re making dinner with zucchini from the weekend farmer’s market.
Unstable, sure: pursuing
Risking and failing, doing their work that with a smile. Independence, installations and workshops, but also grant rejections, rent increases, food stamps. I’ll be at the VR conference next month. Oh yea, I work for Nintendo at the moment. I’ve been exploring wax as a sculptural medium.
This is an incomplete lens, but it is possible to analyze your life through it, figure out where you are and where you want to be. And if you aren’t sure yet, I think everyone gets there when they’re older, or comes to terms with their inability to change anymore. Anyway, who am I to say? I am only 25.